We’ve all become agitated during a disagreement. After all, we are only human, and it goes against our nature to remain cool under pressure.
It’s especially harder during tough times, such as when you’re cooped up indoors during a pandemic, for example.
Blowing up in the middle of an argument seldom results in a resolution, particularly when fighting with a spouse. Arguments can arise, but is losing your temper with a loved one really worth it?
Letting your anger take control can, in the long run, only lead to more misery and conflict, whether you’re communicating by phone, text, or in person.
Some people choose to avoid conflict than having the uncomfortable talk necessary to find a resolution, hence they would rather let the problem go unsolved.
What’s wrong here? When conflicts are avoided, they smolder until there is no longer room for compromise that will allow the partnership to flourish. Arguments actually have the potential to significantly improve a relationship.
Focus on what the other person is saying to you in order to settle disputes in a way that is advantageous to all parties concerned. This entails observing their body language in addition to what they are saying. Make sure your spouse has your full attention at all times.
Rolling your eyes, raising your voice, or checking your phone while arguing won’t make your spouse feel heard.
It’s crucial to realize that you don’t have to arrive to a decision or result right soon. Setting the precedent that either of you may request a timeout if you feel agitated or unheard is beneficial when you are having a disagreement.
It can be challenging for partners who like immediate problem-solving to accept a request for a break because they worry that the problem won’t be handled, they’ll think their spouse is indifferent, or they’ll feel abandoned. It’s crucial that the partner asking for a break also suggest a time to attempt it again, even if it requires several pauses.
As bizarre as it may sound, you want your dispute with your partner to go well. one that results in understanding and resolution rather than temper tantrums and animosity.
The secret is to lower your guard and cooperate rather than compete. Simply sitting close to one another rather than across from one another will promote a more collaborative atmosphere.