We all believe that we will be able to spot a „poor” or „toxic” relationship before we really find ourselves in one. Because dysfunctional relationships never start off badly, that is their defining characteristic.
If they did, we wouldn’t already be inside of them. Instead, they start off with love and affection before progressively turning poisonous, and it may be very hard to pinpoint „the moment” when this happened.
It may be difficult to distinguish between a horrible fight (or a brief hard patch) and a relationship that is deteriorating, so it’s simple to brush aside one-off disputes or warning flags in the time.
More often than not, you and your partner are unhappy together. That is the first sign of hidden toxicity. Every day, a toxic relationship has an impact on your attitude and mood. Your professional life, as well as your physical or emotional health, may be impacted. You could experience depression, aloofness, and distraction as a result, for instance. Or it can just have an impact on how you view yourself.
Instead of talking it out, you criticize each other. When making a criticism, it’s common to use the pronoun „you” and to assign blame to your spouse. (Examples include „You’re usually so selfish” and „You always mess things up when you’re late.”) While a criticism will concentrate on how a certain action made you feel. (For instance, „You were late, and you didn’t phone to let me know. I was afraid.
Small arguments become big fights in a matter of time. Not all conflicts over doing the dishes or taking out the garbage are major ones, but they do occur in all relationships. It’s an issue if your relationship is characterized by frequent arguments that swiftly escalate into major events and never seem to get better.
After a disagreement, you should be allowed to resume your original course. When neither of you resolves your underlying tensions or conflicts, though, they frequently grow swiftly.
When you fight unfairly, for example when you fight to win and don’t care if you are courteous or if you reach a resolution, in the end, things may also get out of hand very fast.