The breakup text is one of the most contentious relationship issues. Some claim it’s blatantly heartless, while others claim it’s quite reasonable in the appropriate situations. You’re not alone if you fall into the latter group.

A massive 56% of participants in a 2014 Voucher Cloud poll reported ending a relationship digitally, and the bulk of those folks (25%) did it by text. And considering how texting has swiftly taken over as our preferred method of communication in virtually every circumstance, that figure has probably climbed every year.

Contrary to common assumptions, sending a breakup text can be the proper thing to do. No one said it would be simple. Here are the experts’ tips for handling a text-based breakup while maintaining your dignity.

If you’ve just gone on three to five dates, it’s OK to end the relationship by text.

Since you don’t have much of a history yet, there’s probably no need for a lengthy explanation at that point. This distinction is supported by the studies as well. In a 2014 Spark Networks poll of 1,500 daters between the ages of 21 and 50, it was shown that 59% of respondents could justify ending a casual relationship through text, but just 24% would do the same for a serious/exclusive one.

Ending things over text is still preferable to being in an unpleasant relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been dating or whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few years.

Physical closeness may lead to emotional intimacy. A breakup text should be sufficient if it was agreed that your relationship was informal and open. Otherwise, breaking up over the phone or in person is the polite thing to do.

Don’t leave any space for discussion or false hope, be as blunt as you can. To avoid sending the wrong impression, experts advise against heaping on too many compliments while letting someone down gently.

Experts concur that anything other than meeting up would be a bad idea if you want to end things with someone you’ve had a solid, long-term relationship. This is due to a number of factors, including the fact that so many crucial indications of communication are missed while using a texting app, as well as the fact that there may be tricky logistics for you to sort out, such as how you’ll live together, share finances, take care of any pets, etc.

Experts advise against breaking up by text if you have reason to suspect that the person you are going to break up with suffers from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or other mental health conditions.

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