High school was indeed a very confusing time for men; they used to have a terrible taste in music, possessed awful pairs of jeans, were unaware of how they should be talking to women, and literally, every other man had the same haircut as Justin Bieber when he was 12. This article will talk about some of the worst colognes from the 90s.

Jean Paul Gaultier Cologne

It was a bottle of cologne shaped like a man used by every other person back then. JPG smelled like eating Aunty Marie’s pretzels and cruising around on a Saturday afternoon. It might be the least pretentious of all the colognes on this list; the people who decided to wear this cologne were undoubtedly trying a lot.

Fierce Cologne by Abercrombie and Fitch

It made sense that A&F’s Fierce Cologne was the perfect way to go when considering a 16-year-old boy with a hormonally imbalanced and a pimply brain. What gathered all the attention was the torso of a chiseled man right on the bottle!

Adidas Cologne

One of the biggest mysteries back in the 90s was who even suggested Adidas start making cologne? It might have been the 13-year-old son of the CEO. Why? Those were the ones who wore it, the young minds in frequent contact with the Walgreens.

Old Spice

This used to belong to your dad, and you were clueless about the quantity you should apply. As a result, you dumped the entire bottle on your chest, thinking chicks would dig that vintage kick; are we correct, or are we correct? Learning how not to dump but dab was the first lesson in moderation taught by Old Spice; it deserves a note of thanks.

Michael Jordan Cologne

He could not have been wrong in the 1990s. He had stylistic options for an aimless teenager, so it would have been natural that they would wish to smell like him. How do you think Michael Jordan would smell? A bit of victory with a dash of sweet!

Drakkar Noir

This cologne was not for boys but for men. Brooding, tall, and dark manly men who used to listen to Joy Division and emphasized the women, how adult that musical option was. Having noir in the name of the product itself, what else do you need?

Tommy Hilfiger

You might have brought it from the discount section of a local Walgreens with generic-brand soda and miniature butterfingers, thinking it would smell good; it did not.

Cool Water

Before transitioning to the rustic sophistication brought in by Aqua di Gio, there was Cool Water in the line. You did not have to dig too deep into your parents’ bank account to whip out cash and put this cologne along your neck.


When a person thinks of Bod, he would think of those stupid commercials between the episodes of Frasier and The Simpsons—packing cologne in a Windex bottle, seriously? It was unsafe for trigger-happy teenage days and smelled like a gym bag.

Axe Body Spray

Axe was the icing on the cake, the milk left in a bowl full of Cocoa Puffs, the middle of an oreo, the crème de la crème. A person never sprayed it but drenched himself in it; It could be used in place of a shower! It was the perfect go-to cologne for a hot date, lazy weekends, or road trips.

Cologne used to be liquid gold, an alternative to dirty laundry, an older cousin! It was problematic when the simplistic minds of teenagers failed to comprehend how to buy cologne and apply it effectively, bringing into light some of the worst colognes of the 90s. 

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