Getting invited to your first poker night can be a daunting thing. You don’t know what to do. You can’t even put together a shelf. You’re no master of the BBQ. So how on earth are you going to cope in the testosterone fuelled world of a night at the poker table?

Well never fear, we’ve been there, looked stupid, and lost a lot of money in the process, just so you don’t have to. We’ve done the morning hangover, the realisation you no longer have a car, and you may have even put your wife in the pot last night. It’s shameful, and not the way to go on a poker night.

Believe us…

Hanging out with real men can be hard work, but follow these simple steps, learn from our mistakes, and place your beer down on the felt with confidence and a sack full of anecdotes, and you could even take home a prize pot, or at least lose slightly less.

Study The Game

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Do not, we repeat DO NOT agree to a poker night if you don’t know how to play. Of course you may want to save face and not mention you can’t play so the guys don’t laugh, but they’ll be laughing more when you think having five reds constitutes a good hand.

If you’ve already made that mistake however – and it’s easy to do – make sure you have a practice. Get yourself online to one of the many, many card rooms and see how you fair. Playing with regulars on the likes of Royal Vegas Poker could even help you pick up some skills the guys on your night wouldn’t know. You could be the next Daniel Negreanu – he’s quite a good poker player apparently, so bringing him up in conversation might ruffle a few feathers too.

Drink Light

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You know how it is. You mustn’t drink and drive. So making big calls pumped up on lager with all the confidence of James Bond will certainly leave you both shaken and stirred. Just because you’re on your ninth bottle doesn’t mean you’ve all of a sudden become invincible. You aren’t going to win on a pair of twos no matter how much you’ve drunk.

What’s more, your opponents will be getting drinking too, and you can take advantage of that. Whilst the other men are guzzling down 5% beers, get yourself on the Coors Light. Then simply sit back, watch their bluffing deteriorate, and your chip stack mount up.

Distract Your Opponents With Fun Tales

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If there’s one thing a poker night is great for, it’s polishing your old anecdotes and telling them with all the guile of a stand-up comic. And if you don’t have any, make some up!

Not only will you have the table laughing, and thinking you’re a super cool guy – “he can come every week,” one might say – you’ll also have them distracted from their hand meaning you can pounce. And come the end of the night, with your cash, and everyone else’s, firmly in your pocket, you’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about.

Next step, putting together those shelves…

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